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Adam
54 Brisbane, Queensland, Australia
Seeking: Female 36 - 46
Hi there! I'm quite rusty at this and am dipping my toes back into the water after a long time out of the pool. I 'm looking to see who's out there, who I might click with and maybe make a few friends or perhaps, if Gods' timing is right (and it's always right), a deeper, long term partnership with my missing piece. In the last three and a half years, I wrestled with some of the hardest choices I've ever made. I managed to deeply wound myself and others that I love with my choices, and have been learning how to just be myself again and live apart. "We have two lives, and the second begins when we realize that we only have one" - Confucius The Japanese art of kintsugi, meaning “to join with gold”, is a reminder to stay optimistic when things fall apart and to celebrate the flaws and missteps of life. The technique is an extension of the Japanese philosophy of wabi-sabi, which sees beauty in the incomplete and value in simplicity. God is the artisan of the universe. He can take what is broken, make the pieces realign and then He heals the cracks with an inlay of liquid gold. That's how I see my life and my future. I have been damaged, through reckless actions and pride, and now I am awaiting my restoration. He will work on me and transform my sadness, my loneliness and my loss into a new piece of exquisite art, unique and irreplaceable. I will not look the same but I will be a reflection of His incredible grace and capacity to restore what has been broken. I see myself as flawed, broken and thoroughly human but I refuse to let my past define and limit my future. I'm about to embark upon my "second life", trying answer the questions posed by my first. Will I make the same mistakes or can God change me as He promises He can? I've been in and out of church most of my adult life and I'm certainly no saint but I believe I am redeemed by His indescribable grace and love. I love God but have a hard time sometimes believing He feels the same way about me. My intention is to extract every last ounce of revelation, joy, wisdom, contentment, experience, compassion, love, learning, exploration and service out of whatever remains. I will walk again with Christ and, if His grace allows, with a woman who loves me deeply, passionately and unconditionally. If we fall down, we'll rise again as one and keep moving forward toward His perfection, with grace, gratitude, and fear. Now, if you've read this far, I'm very flattered but you see, there's a catch. At first meeting, I may seem funny, courteous, loving, thoughtful and kind (and I am all of those things) but I'm also autistic. I received my Asperger's diagnosis about 10 years ago during a very difficult episode in my life, which finally explained a lot of things in my past and who I am. I'm regarded as ASD Level 1 or HFA (high functioning autistic). It means that to the untrained eye, I'll appear pretty normal or neurotypical, just like the majority of the population. If you want to get to know me, then you need to be aware I'm not like most people you'll have encountered. I'd suggest that you do your research, and understand that someone with AS sometimes won't react or communicate with you how you'd might expect or hope. That doesn't mean I'm not capable of being emotional, loving, supportive or committed to a relationship (I can be). But it does mean I'll process things differently to how you probably do and that might cause confusion or misunderstandings. Asperger's isn't a defect; it's just a difference. Those differences confer both strengths and also weaknesses, just like anyone else has. The difference is how my brain is "wired" compared to an NT (neurotypical). It's something that I'm unable to change/cure but I can work on diminishing its' effects on my life and relationships. My Asperger's doesn't define who I am but it can mean my relationships can be more challenging to navigate. Open, clear and frequent communication is the key to building strong, deep, loving, safe and respectful relationships and crucial in keeping an AS partner feeling loved, wanted and appreciated by their NT partner. I hope that my honesty in revealing this difference hasn't turned you off, but if it's made you re-consider making contact, I can understand your hesitation and respect whatever you decide to do. But if, after reading everything above and having read a little bit about AS, you're still interested in making an acquaintance, a friend, a walking/cycling buddy, or maybe something a bit deeper, let me know. Let's be open to invitations extended, and treat each other with mutual respect, honesty, patience and compassion. Be a little brave, a little bold and take a chance. As I type this profile, I'm listening to Shane Howard "Flesh & Blood" on repeat: "If we leave here today We could be a thousand miles away Take to that road see how far it goes Homeward bound we could go That country′s in our bones All the trouble that you know Empties out as you go Oh come on walk with me, talk with me, Tell me your stories I'll do my best to understand you You′re flesh and blood, flesh and blood Don't refuse me your love More than words can express More than wealth or success Oh there's a thousand things to do So let′s start here with me and you All the pain that you feel All the hurt that seems so real Oh come on walk with me, talk with me, Tell me your stories I′ll do my very best to understand you You're flesh and blood You can′t go on holding back The flooding river Keeping all that fear inside I understand how trouble haunts you Yes and I do know how you feel There's a thousand things to do So let′s start here with me and you Gonna take a little time Let's see what we can find Oh come on walk with me..." The lyrics speak to building trust, partnership, understanding, compassion, tolerance and enduring love through the journey of a shared life. If you'll give me the chance, I'll do my very best to understand you, and acknowledge that you're only flesh and blood too. May our God bless your search and wrap you up in His love, peace, joy and perfection.

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